Move on to the guy that treats you the best.. you should be treated how every women should be treated..hes the one who wanted the divorce in the first place, not you.I need some advice. I had a little problem I need to know if it is cheating or not?
Yr hubby seems tobe shaky one. when he talked about divorce,he should have finished the task. When u found a better one, he is crying.He deserve it.
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When a significant other finds out their partner cheated on them they can tend to focus on that cheating to a point of pornography. It excites them in several ways but none of them are healthy for a relationship. Has he grilled you about the details more than once? Partly it's a pride thing...
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You did the best moved, so there is no need to worry about it. Your hubby has to regret and pay his immatured decision to junk you and then wants to reconcile. He should take the pain to lose you! I don't think he is joking to you when he told you that he is going to devorce you and you need to move on? Did he told you only for a threat? A kind of stupid idea by any man? What he had shown is having an attitude as a weak man himself who can not make a concrete decision that made him think twice and asking you to turn back to him?
However, ask your self if you still love him then a reconcilation with your hubby is not bad but an advantage to your kids. It's up to your decision to give priority to your family with the kids to be brought up together with your hubby. Your hubby should compromise to accept you and respect you without such conditions. Since you had already slept with the new guy you found, your hubby must forgive you for that. If he do this to forgive you for having slept and have sex with the new guy then consider your hubby's offer of reconcilation with you and aske sorry from your new guy to understand you.
The bottom line is the future of your kids to your hubby, not for your personal enterest but for the sake of the kids.
Don't worry and you don't need to regret for the moved you had made, I don't see any wrong or cheating out of it. You did it because your hubby attempted devorce.
wow sara b hows it cheating, if her husband said he wanted a divorce and to move on it isnt at all
I would say who cares because that's the person that I am. Well, if I were you then, first I'd sit and think it out with hubby, because you have 2 kids, and you don't want them to suffer. If hubby here doesn't treat you for what you are,and you like this other guy go on with him. Move on with your life.
Unless you are legally separated then it is by law seen as cheating.
The bigger question that needs to be answered is what is a single guy doing sleeping with a married woman. If he knows you are married (as your bf did since you knew him for a year) then thats pretty scummy of him to sleep with you. If you get with this guy what is to keep him from sleeping with other girls? Obviously his ethics won't keep him from cheating.
People who get into these kinds of relationships are usually lacking in something and try to find it in someone new. You should feel like a woman because you are a woman, not because some dude ';treats'; you like one. That tends to change as relationships age anyhow.
What you want is someone who respects you and who you are comfortable with. It sounds like you should get a divorce and wait until you are happy with yourself before you get into another relationship. I would suggest marriage counseling before you make any decisions.
I am one that always says cheating is cheating PERIOD, BUT, if your husband actually told you to move on, he wasn't expecting you to remain faithful unless he was an idiot. Since he only wants you back since he found out, his manly pride has been hurt. He hasn't just suddenly decided he loved you again. I'd finalize the divorce and see where this new relationship leads. Just please don't jump from one relationship to another though. Give it time and be sure it's what you want. DON'T be unfaithful while you are living w/ your husband though. Once the divorce is filed, I consider one divorced.
That marriage was over a long time ago and you don't need a divorce decree to prove it.
I don't know, but can you stop saying ';I live [SIC] him but I don't know if I am in love with him.'; That is meaningless gibberish.
If you were separated than it wasn't cheating. Even if you weren't, if he said he wanted a divorce, than that meant he didn't want to be with you, so therefore he wanted to be with other people, and you have that same right. You don't have to stay committed to him, when he didn't want to be with you. If you don't love him anymore and really think that you could love this other guy, than go for the other guy. It is your life and you only live once, you should be happy. Make sure that you and your husband (or ex husband) still stay friends for your kids. Don't drag them into this, just make sure that you are both there for your kids, your relationship problems have nothing to do with you kids, make sure you both know that, and they know that. But if you really like the other guy, go with him, screw your husband, maybe he shouldn't have told you he wanted a divorce.
I think both of you cheated on each other. I say this because being married and depriving your mate of anything is infidelity just as much as one of you going off with someone else. The results are not always the same but still is infidelity. Both of you need counseling to mend the past regardless of your continuing with one another. I hope to have helped by my humble answer.
I think you should get together with the new guy. However, as for your children, it might depend on how old they are and how well they take your divorce. When my parents divorced I was 14 and my little sister was 8. You can obviously see the difference on how they effected us because i was at least old enough to understand what was going on. But you children might react differently. In the end, it all comes down on which makes you happier. you just have to consider the factors like your:
-happiness with ur marriage/relationship.
-guilt on the effects of divorce on your children.
its your life.--S
Well if you are legally married: ring, documents, same house, the whole shabang, it's cheating.
If you signed divorce papers then your safe because your not bound by marriage anymore.
As for making it work? I've been burned by divorced parents and I know how it screws up kids. You cheated on your husband so that makes you an unfaithful...human. Your husband shouldn't want you back, but if he's dumb enough to forgive you, then so be it. I'd leave the guy you cheated with and go back to the man you promised to stand by til death do you part.
For yours, and your babies' sake.
yeah its cheating....my cuzin she and her husband have been fight about getting a divocre months after getting married....so i think u need to do what ur heart tells u?
its cheating silly
I don't believe it is cheating because he told you to move on, which for me means he probably had someone too but it didn't work out so now he wants to turn it around on you and try to make it work or he thinks your happy with guy and doesn't want to see you happy!!!
Wow thats a mess
Wow OK so he said it was over then he found out that you found a new guy so now he wants to fix the marriage. Plus the new guy treats you better but you also have two kids so you don't want to break the marriage. My only advice would be look at your TWO options and chose because you can't have your cake and eat it too.
What are the problems with your husband? Because if it is adultery, abuse, or addictions, then you don't have to go back to him.
How old are your 2 kids?
And no more sleeping with this new guy, what if you got pregnant?
No way is it cheating!! Especially when he's the one asking for the divorce. Maybe he was cheating with someone else on you, and possibly his plans didn't turn out the way he had planned and so now he wants you back!!
Technically it is cheating since you are still married. However since you have emotionally and physically split up your marriage is most certainly over. It all depends on your level of involvement with your husband. Ask yourself: if he werent my husband would I need to be acting a certain way around him (calling, spending time, sleeping with him, etc insert activity! :) ) If you are not and you are completely detached emotionally and physically then it is not cheating, just cheating under the law basically. Go ahead and get the marriage anulled quickly if you have made up your mind COMPLETELY. Talk to your husband, give him the floor to speak since you have kids with him and still love him. However if you arent IN love with him then dont force it, a relationship should make itself work for both of you.
Even though your husband said he wanted a divorce, you were still married and living with him when you met the other man. You are married intill the divorce paper are sign and finalize in the court house, You are still married and you cheated on your husband. Hope you figure out who your heart belongs too. Please take another look at your life and call a marriage counselor
WELL IN A BIBLICAL SENSE YES YOU CHEATED......IF YOUR HUSBAND SAID HE WANTED A DIVORCE AND NOTHING HAS BEEN GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO...AND YOUR NO LONGER WITH EACH OTHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE....THEN ITS UP TO YOU AS TO WHAT YOU WANT TO CALL IT........I KNOW YOU SAID YOU WERE STILL LIVING TOGETHER BUT IN WHAT TEXT?......
YOU CHOOSE AS TO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO....THE BIBLE DIVORCE IS NOT RIGHT UNLESS YOU ARE CHEATED ON PRETTY MUCH.....AND WHOEVER YOU ARE WITH AFTER YOU WILL ALWAYS BE COMMITTING ADULTERY...NOW THERE IS FORGIVENESS BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER DEAL......
YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT AND WHAT YOU ARE WILLING TO LIVE WITH NOT TRYING TO PREACH JUST SAYING WHAT I KNOW.....YUP YOUR A CHEATER...............
Your husband wanted out of the marriage, now he wants back in, how long will it be before he wants back out. Get out of this marriage now. If you stay with him, how will you teach your children to respect themselves when their own Mother doesn't think she is worthy of it? Show some backbone.
Legally, it's cheating. Morally, it's a gray area because your husband called off the relationship and you considered your marriage over, you just didn't have the official divorce.
If you're unhappy with your husband, your decision to stay with him or not shouldn't hinge on whether or not this was cheating. If you no longer have feelings for your husband, you should move on rather than live an empty life devoid of love.
It's not cheating and you hubby only wants you back cause another man is showing interest in you. He is jealous and is now willing to work it out. Tell him no...you've moved on, like he told you. The kids would rather see you in a happy relationship then fighting always with their dad. Good Luck!
Well, this is life...I;m not going to say anything sarcastic. In fact, I'm sorry you are experiencing this.
Terrible circumstances beyond any-ones control can happen at any time to anyone.
The question is not ';did you cheat'; this is irrelevant. What's done is done......water under the bridge.
Move forward, next step.
Keep in mind, he may or may not have been loyal either?
So, don't drown yourself in guilt too quickly.
His fling may not be working out and you going on and meeting someone has caused him to step back and re-think everything...';Do I really want to lose her?';
He has come to the conclusion ';No, I want to work it out.';
So, the ball is in your court......see, now you have had a taste of something new, something exciting...unlike his fling (didn;t work) yours might actually lead to something in the future.
First, file for a divorce and do the right thing (not to lead anyone on) close one door before opening another....in all fairness.
no it not cheating. Yu and your husband were living separate lives. For all intents and purposes you ended your marriage, in your heart and your mind. Next you need to do the same in front of god and the judge. always follow your first instinct in will never lead you wrong.
Think this though some more, Be smart and move on. Your husband is playing with your mind it seems he doesn't know what he wants. It's time to make a decision to move on or get counseling to make it work. I think that you did cheat but your husband told you it was over so you move on, it's totally not all your fault.
No it wasn't cheating cause your hubby told you point blank.
To answer the other part of your question I must say this. I am not perfect and I cannot tell you what to do cause you and only you know what is best for you and what is in your heart.
The advice I will give you is that you must make this choice on your own. We all have been in situations and most of us have given advice, but when it comes down to it, this is YOUR LIFE and you have to deal with what comes behind the choice you make, not us.
I hope that everything works out for you, whatever you choose. ....
I think technically considering you're still married and the divorce wasn't final yet, it was considered adultery or ';cheating';. But you know what, I don't think it was wrong at all. Your husband told you that you two were getting a divorce, so he pretty much told you right then and there that it was over. Your husband should not be playing around with your emotions like that. I'd continue the divorce with your husband, and start a new, happy, guilt free life with the guy you really like.
get the divorce and move on the other guy seems to be worth more of your time.
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