I have a controlling problem and need help/advice?

I'm engaged and have been dating my fiance for over 2 years now and I feel that my control issues are really getting between us. To give some history, she was married when we got together, so we didn't start out on the right path, but needless to say we fell in love and she ended her bad marriage. Now we're about to get married and I have such a hard time with trust. Its a mix of how we got started and my own insecurities I know. I think I need advice on how a relationship should work because I've never had a good example. I feel like a spouse shouldnt text other guy friends when we're together, or hang out at there house when I'm not around. Other people feel that I should just let her do whatever she wants. Should I just be cool with everything and hope for the best? I think I really need someone to tell me how there relationship works. Do you have boundaries for your mate? If so what are they?I have a controlling problem and need help/advice?
The two of you should really see a counselor together to establish those boundaries and things before you get married. You said yourself, starting out the way you did (plus other issues) has led to mis-trust. Please do yourself and her the favor of resolving those things before you go any further. Never just jump and figure it out later, think of children that are brought into situations like yours. So many other things to consider. Good luck.

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