Your anger is ruining your life. A person who is prone to anger causes his or friends and family to live in constant fear, and fear is the enemy of love.
Let's examine the question you asked: ';How can i learn to control myself?'; First of all, nothing is ';wrong'; with you; something is wrong inside of you. You aren't a bad person because you are angry. You are probably angry because, when you were a child, you were treated like or felt like a bad person.
Haven't you noticed that often you get upset over insignificant things; that events that shouldn't have such a powerful effect on you set you off? That's because the source of most of your anger is not found in the present, but in the past. Most rage-a-holics, and that describes you, experienced one or all of the following circumstances while they were growing up:
1) They were physically, verbally, or sexually abused as a child.
2) They felt unloved or abandoned as a child.
3) They felt powerless as a child.
If a child experiences any of the situations I just mentioned, he will naturally feel enormous sadness and grief. If he is unable to feel that grief, or doesn't have permission to express it, or the angry feelings accompanying it, it will surface years later as inappropriate anger and rage.
Now this brings us to your question, Regarding your desire to ';control your anger.'; Learning to control your anger will not solve your problem. The anger is a symptom , albeit a totally unacceptable symptom, or a rage-a-holic's deep hurt and sadness. Just treating the anger without understanding the cause will be very temporary and dangerous solution. But I believe you must work on locating and healing the source of the anger, and give that hurt little child permission to express the emotions he's been holding in all his life. You know my saying: ';If you don't work it out, you'll act it out.';
Even traditional talk or psychotherapy may not be adequate form of help for someone suffering from chronic anger. Supervised experiential emotional work such as psychodrama, physical forms of release such as hitting punching bags, screaming into pillows and using batakas to strike out, and intensive inner-child work will all be essential ingredients in helping a person transform anger into grief and, finally, into healing. Once you begin to release the old, pent-up emotions, you will find that ';controlling your anger'; becomes much easier, since you won't feel the anger as frequently, and therefore won't react from an angry place. Naturally, you can employ other techniques like ';time-outs,'; etc., which a qualified therapist can teach you, while you're in the process of doing your deeper work. Remember: By facing and healing your old demons, you're not only giving your love ones a wonderful gift, but you're loving yourself in the most profound way possible.
ravishingV
Human Relations and Personal Growth CounselorI have a anger problem and I need advice...?
hey... I have an anger problem too.. there are ways to control it. try not to yell because you're only making the situation worse and u can try counseling... um the best way I know is to see both sides of the situation. dnt raise a hand because you'll do something u'll regret. when u feel that your anger is aroused, do something like write, take a walk, take a deep breath, and say it'll get better. dnt waste time agruing because you'll be mad all over again... wish u the best... it works for me.
When you start to feel the anger coming on, then you need to give yourself a time out - IMMEDIATELY. Tell your girlfriend ';Listen, I really care about your feelings and I want to talk more to you, but I have to spend a little bit of time alone to calm down and think more clearly, can we talk again - and give her a time'; - then DO something, walk, listen to music, whatever helps you calm down and think better. You MUST do this everytime, and maybe go to anger management classes.
First of all no matter what you should never lay your hands on a women! Take a walk, take yourself out of the situationand take time to calm down.There are many techques that have proven to help and there are free classes offered in many cities.
Being serious here go to a phsycologist. Or count backwards from ten take deep breaths and imagine your happy place.
Wow, you're lucky she is still with you and taking all that. Don't ever put your hands on her no matter how angry you get! It's okay to get upset when you're arguing but never to get physical. I would suggest looking online at some anger management classes because I think that's the only way you'll really be ever able to control your anger. Understand that arguments are going to happen but it doesn't have to get that bad - it's called self control and everyone has it but it's harder for some others! It'll get better, just find some classes to take to help you out more!
Go to anger management counseling. You realize she is probably on her somewhere asking. My boyfriend I've been with for two years 2 months and 19days whom I love to death gets so mad he hurts me what should I do and everyone is telling her to leave. So get your act together and you probably should go to couples therapy too so that you can resolve the issue together.
Stop the argument before it gets to that point. Even if the issue isn't resolved, tell your gf that things are escalating, you don't want to go there, you must leave the room/house, and it's not about her. THEN LEAVE.
You would be helped by therapy where you can call the therapist at those times and vent, and the therapist can talk you down.
It's extremely serious that you're laying hands on her. She could have you arrested. You must absolutely leave the room or house before you get that upset.
Honestly.. get some professional help.. You cannot fix what you don't acknowledge and you are willing to admit you have a problem. .Only a trained professional can help you work through this.. I am proud of you for admitting this and seeking help.. please continue to seek help.. Start by calling your family doctor and go from there.. It will escalate over time .. it always does without serious help and a commitment from you to change.. good luck.. I will pray for you..
anger management
Find a therapist.
Anger stems from a sense of entitlement. You feel that something you are entitled to is being taken from you.
You need to understand that you CAN control your anger and refrain from using violence. If she called the police on you, would you attack them too? Of course not, because if you tried to, they might shoot. So you can control yourself.
You know you have a problem when you get so heated up that you want to hurt someone or something. Try anger management because you dont want things to get worse. They say its better to talk out your issues but since you have a tendancy or urge to get physical, next time you get into an agrument walk away for a little bit to clear your mind. Thats what I do or I call a close to vent. Take some deep breathes in and out and deal with the situation after you'v calmed down.
first you need to stop bein a pussy and puttin yor hnds on your gf. that just ain't right. also go to anger manegment, thats what i have to do to control myself. it hels alot, and then she'll be happier for you.
Be really careful, anger problems can be very serious. The second you physically hurt her can ruin your relationship and even send you to jail. Alot of people are not open to counselors... but I would suggest going to one. The strongest people are the ones who can admit they need help.
I can get really angry at my fiance too(and we have even been together exactly 2 years and tree months, LoL)... My best practical solutions are to step back and take a few deep breaths before you even respond or react if you are starting to get mad. Ask yourself, is this something I will even remember or care about next week. Sometimes the things we argue about are so silly and really aren't worth it. Read the book, ';The five languages of apology'; and really learn how to apologize for your own part. If we learn to take responsibility for even the small things we do, then we stop being so judgemental and angry. I am not trying to judge you, I am just saying that that works for me.
the first thing you should really do is:
Try and controll you conscience.
Think about the problem that is making you mad.
Think about what good is gonna come out of it
Think about being the bigger person.
I get mad too, but I dont let my conscience tell me what to do. I just sit there and just let it go. My girl loves me too much to let me go cuz there are guys who are like you, and the woman is eventually gonna get tired of it, and leave.
I mean Its all up to you, how you handle the situation.
Our world is what each individual makes of it....
Be the bigger person...
Smoke Dank Chronic it helps alot bro'
Seek anger management program. When you feel it coming on just step away from the problem and go outside and get a breath of fresh air and try to think how your actions are making you feel!
I give you credit on knowing you have a problem! that is the first step to doing something about it!
prayer and ask God to control your anger I have the same problem but I ask Jesus and Mary for help and I am doing much better try your best I know it is hard but once God sees you are willing to control your anger He would help you. you can pray this prayer: Jesus meek and humble of heart make my heart like unto thine. this prayer really works trust me
I also had anger issues, you need to stop letting stuff build up before you talk about it.......
I'm a very private person, I don't like putting myself or my business out there.....
but as soon as I began talking about my problems once they appeared......... All my anger went away....
I handle situations alot better now, If you don't feel you can talk to her at the moment something happens, find someone you can trust and talk to them about it........
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