Please help! Will welcome any advice...does it sound as if he has a psychological problem? What is wrong?

I'm involved with a guy that is a great guy, but when he is angry he can be emotionally abusive. We've been together almost a year...off and on. In the time we've been together, I have probably cried more with him than with any other guy. When he is angry he has insulted me, refused to say one word to me, disappear for a couple of weeks and not call or contact me, and not respond to my attempts to contact him either. It is very nerve wracking. I'm in college and last night, we were at the library together, because I had a paper due%26amp;he had something to do for his job. He didn't think about the fact that I had a paper due, but instead had me running around the library finding books that he needed. If I refused, he gave me the silent treatment. He also got angry at me towards the time we were getting ready to leave %26amp; left me to walk home across campus in the dark by myself, while he drove. Please tell me what is wrong with him? Does he need counseling????Please help! Will welcome any advice...does it sound as if he has a psychological problem? What is wrong?
He needs anger management. If he doesn't go, then he thinks that he is more important than you and you should leave him before it gets worse.Please help! Will welcome any advice...does it sound as if he has a psychological problem? What is wrong?
You are losing focus and at who's expense? It's not his that's for sure.
Sure, he needs counseling, in terms of changing the self-centered way he thinks. Will he get it? I doubt it. I'm going to be very upfront with you and tell you that he has every sign of being a classic abuser. In fact, he's already started. Has he started isolating you from your friends and family yet? I'd be surprised if he hasn't. After all, they take away from time you could spend on meeting his needs. He will never spend the time meeting yours, because that is not how he thinks. Of course, you may have found he can be very charming if he thinks you're pulling away (and after all, he got you to go out with him in the first place), but he is basically charming long enough to get what he wants, and that is having you under his control. Take my sincere advice and dump him now. Be prepared for him to campaign to get you back, either by charm or threats. Don't fall for them.
sounds to me like he wants control, and if you are having a loving relationship, that's definitely not on.





emotional abuse is definitely on as it is destructive to the person it is be flung at.


The silent treatment s also passive aggressive control


Sounds to me like maybe soon





try to find nice people to be around that love and care about you
';you'; need counseling, to learn how to get away from an abusive partner, why you insist on ';living'; with a man out of wedlock and letting him take advantage of you like you were some kind of pickup, and why you put up with that without moving out. Since he's acting funny, don't get another boyfriend for a while, and until you've worked thru your problem. You can't change him, but you can change you. Good luck.
Please, don't focus on what's wrong with him. What's wrong with you for allowing this control freak around you. Please break up with him. I went thru a off an on 14 month relationship with a control freak and I spent 7 years being single after him. You are smart and deserve the best in life.
something is wrong with you for staying and taking the abuse
yes, it sounds like he has a form of displacement disorder, and he also sounds like a bit of an *** and really immature. displacement means that if something in his life goes wrong, no matter the reason he will take it out on you, or the closest thing, anything to naot blame himself or fix the situation
Sorry, hon, but you need to drop this guy like a hot potato! He's got emotional issues and you aren't doing him any good by putting up with his BS. He can't really be a great guy if he is so inconsiderate to you. Being in college is enough work - you should focus on yourself and look for a guy who is more stable - and able to focus some good attention on you! You deserve it!





And, yes, he needs some counseling - but I guarantee he won't get it unless he recognizes he has a problem. So unless you are a professional therapist - leave him and let him figure it out for himself!





Good Luck!
He seems quite passive aggressive when he doesn't get his way as he gives you the silent treatment. He has anger issues which need to be resolved through counseling. Being with an emotionally abusive guy is not great as you will eventually become quite dependent on him at the psychological level. It will affect your self-confidence and self-esteem. You say he is a great guy but it is not very appealing that he made you run around searching for his books when you had a paper due, that is very inconsiderate of him. Have you told him that you are unhappy with things? He needs counseling but you need to be in counseling separately too to figure out why you think he is a great guy when he has not made you feel special. You need to ask yourself if he really cares about you. Otherwise get out and you will find the right person who will love you and treat you like you really deserve to be treated. Also get emotional support from family and friends whatever you may decide to do. Good luck!
He has problems alright ! Sounds like a spoiled brat that really has no feelings for other people. He needs more then simple counseling but if you stay with him,you are going to need counseling also. If y'all have been together a long time where you don't want to lose him, break up until he gets help. You are much better to just leave him and not look back though 'cause he could get treatment a long time and still act like a spoiled brat. You need to look at yourself though that you put up with him.
We can't tell you what is wrong!!! You are the only one who even knows this guy. I can just about guess that his behavior is justifiable and normal in his mind. You're not going to change him so just know that right off the bat. Not being ugly when I say this, maybe you need to talk to someone. Look at what you are accepting from him and why? Don't you feel that you deserve to be treated kindly? People often have to learn the hard way and you will if you continue to have relationships with jerks............
i would just like to say good luck to you...i can't sit here and say dump him or anything negative because i am going through the same exact thing with my boyfriend except he doesn't just get emotionally or verbally abusive, he also gets physically abusive, i will just ask you what everyone asks me..why do you put up with it and keep him around? i hope everything goes well, like i said we are floating in the same boat, if you want to contact me you can at lmc19842004@yahoo.com...maybe we can give each other advice in the future about our prince charmings...
Forget him, he needs counsiling but that is not your job, he will only change if he wants too. Get out of there and finish school you will find the one that is meant for you.
He is not going to change for you. He isn't worth your time.





A relationship is supposed to make you happy, not sad!!! He should make you feel good about who he is and who you are.





He doesn't sound like he will ever let you be the person you deserve to be, since he's messing you up on your studies.





You can waste the next years trying to get him to treat you like a decent human being...or you can cut your losses now and dump him.
If you can't dump him you need to get counseling.
He's self centered and immature with some anger management issues. He wants your life to revolve around him. But then of course he's likely to punish you if you don't meet his exact needs. Either get some counseling or walk away. Its not going to get better by itself. He clearly doesn't know how to communicate in a caring or productive way.
Yes. Counseling to be done by you. You can try to comfort him and accompany him when he feels isolated. Sometimes, that happens. Counseling indeed is a help. But your problem is he is emotionally abusive. So, try telling him to control his emotions. But if he really wants to spill it out, try it outside. And he may be somewhat, ';psychologically problematic';.
sounds to me like he has control issues. and is punishing you when you don't do as HE wants you to do. it is only going to get worse. he only wants what he wants. i would move on to someone better. i was once with a man like that. verbal abuse turned to physical abuse. not right away, but it happened. i was not expecting it either. it started out with a shove out of his way, then a slap, went from there, thrown down stairs, made to sleep outside, punched in the face when he was mad about something. sorry, just trying to make you understand.
GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT


SOUNDS like hes very self centered and your to young if your in college to be involved in a relationship that may hinder your educations and dreams
Sorry but you need to drop him. He should probably take anger management classes. Dump him because you can't change him. No matter what you do he is not going to change. Your love or whatever is not going to be enough in the end. Also if he treats you that way now he will probably always treat you that way. Another thing, girls who were in physically abusive relationships, say that at first it just started out with emotional abuse. So it could escalate.
I would leave and not look back





He sounds like he has way too baggage why do you feel


you have to worry about HIS problem and you answered your own question....HE needs counselling





You will need some too if you decide to stay in the relationship and you will end up being beaten and running to shelter.....life is too short
He is using a power/controlling trip on you. People like this are only trying to control you..period.


I was in an abusive relationship for 15 years. He was ';only'; verbally abusive at first. Trust me...this type of behavior WILL escalate. In time...I KNOW it will. His behavior is that of someone who is emotionally immature (ie: if he doesn't get what he wants, he ';pouts'; like a child, by becoming silent)...


GET OUT NOW. I am now in a healthy relationship...and can tell you crying IS NOT part of a good, healthy relationship. No one should treat you like he is. My late husband (the abuser..yes, he killed himself...thought he was gonna take me out, too...long story...won't bore you)....once let me walk from our car to a public highway rest area ALONE at night (even though I told him I was scared) because he was mad at me...RED FLAG here sister! He cared more about himself than he did you on your lonely at night campus walk...


PLEASE, PLEASE, NO MATTER IF YOU THINK YOU LOVE HIM OR NOT...GET OUT...RUN! You will be unhappy and constantly worrying what you did wrong..when in truth, it's HIM NOT you....You'll want to ';play by his rules'; but he'll keep changing them....you'll NEVER figure them out.


YES, he needs counseling. BUT...YOU CANNOT fix him...he'll have to want to fix himself...and guys like that RARELY admit they need help...


PLEASE, PLEASE...before you become a victim of physical domestic abuse ( you are ALREADY a victim of emotional domestic abuse)....GET THE HECK AWAY FROM Him...
drop him
Yes he needs counseling or help of some sort. First, you should realize that you should not let yourself be treated that way. In my book, abuse of any kind is NOT ACCEPTABLE! It sounds as if he thinks you should cater to him, but he should do the same for you in return.





I think the two of you may be at different points in your lives and may need to go your separate ways. But yes, he does need help.





If you don't take up for yourself, no one else will. Don't let anyone do this to you...you've got to want to be treated better...
I hate to say this 'he needs dumping.' He is an angry control freak and needs therapy.
Why are you with him? He does need counseling. I would dump him. If you really want to stay with him you need to force him to go to counceling. There is clearly something seriously wrong with at least your relationship, if not his psychological state.
No! U need counseling.......for staying with him and putting up with all that nonsence! It sounds to me like he is a grade A Asshole and the best thing you could possibly do would be to run in the opposite direction....as fast as possible.





Who knows it might even give him a wake up call......just remember that a leopard never changes his spots