I have a very big problem, I could use all the advice I can get..........?

I have a very good friend that I have known for about a year. During this year we have helped each other through some very difficult times. My husband told her husband something and her husband swore her to secrecy that she would not tell me and she told me and swore me to secrecy that I would not tell my husband where I got the information and I did because me and my husband tell each other everything and now he is threatening to go to her husband. So all four of us is trapped in this THING all keepings secrets from each other. And I have a range of emotions going through me right now and I don't know what to do about all of this. Please give me your best advice on this??!!I have a very big problem, I could use all the advice I can get..........?
You are all a bunch of lying idiots who can't keep a secret!I have a very big problem, I could use all the advice I can get..........?
Mmm, I think it kind of depends on the secret, but generally I think you should sit down and talk it out. I don't think your husband should be keeping secrets from you, and if your friend felt it was important enough to break her husband's trust, then it's probably important enough to forget the promise-breaking and just get it out.
It's easy to know that the adult thing would be to sit down and talk it out as four mature people. The harder thing is to actually do it. But, with a little courage, you could initiate what could be a friendship-saving meeting. Take a deep breath and call them.
Whose is the most important person in your life - your hubby? Sit down and talk it through with him. If he is your best friend he will not be angry or annoyed and he won't betray your confidence.
1.It is obvious that your husband and you ,don't tell each other everything.


2.If 2 persons know something ,it will not be a secret for very long.


3.You should be pissed at your husband.


4.Don't loose your friend ,if it is a real one.Husbands -especially secretive ones -are easy to find.
be honest. obviously everyone already knows what the big secret is, so just get it all out so you can move on and forgive each other.
well it can be hard trying to tell someone something but all of you know the secret so talk like adults and maybe you could ask your husband why he didn't want you to know.
sit down and talk it out
It would help if we knew the secret. Some things are better left unsaid even if we all know about it.
Is the rest of your life this complicated? I think you should ask your husband to tell her husband that he was hallucinating when he told the secret and that it was really not true. But then you should make up another lie and tell that (make it really juicy too!) to her and tell her to not tell anyone but her husband and then when it gets to your husband, then you can deny the whole thing and then no one will trust anyone and you can deny culpability. And then you will need a new husband and new frineds. But the good thing...this experience can lead to a career in Politics!!!
Write everything down, and find an agent. You have a TV or movie deal to be sure. Oh, to be young.


This THING is called miscommunication - on a level unheard of before. Just sit down and hash it out.


Very well written, STORY.


I truly hope this is not real - it's 2006!, all this was covered by Morey, Phil, Oprah, whoever, etc, - to death!! OMGoodness, please tell me this is a story!!


Talking is NOT secrets to others.
Since it is no longer a secret, the four of you need to sit down together and talk it out.





It is going to take some work to regain trust.





Best wishes.
If you and your husband tell each other everything then why didn't he tell you this one thing in the first place? And why is it such a big deal that you know a secret of his?


Sounds to me like the four of you need to sit down and try to figure out why your all passing each others secrets around and betraying each others trust.
that was a tongue twister. The 'something' has got to be a huge part of it that is crucial if you want real advice. Is it unspeakable? It's one thing if the 'something' is that you don't like to wear nylons. It's an entirely different something if one of you is cheating or something.





If it's little, then open up a few bottles of wine and laugh about it. If it's big, then who-told-what-to-whom is the least of your concerns, I'd say.
Why is your husband telling him things and not wanting you to find out? If he is honest with you, he should have nothing to keep from you and should not worry about it. However in the future I bet he dont say anything else to him and I suggest that you both not share secrets with your friends because they ausually will tell someone else.
The only solution is to have an affair with your friend's husband, or your friend, if you are so inclined, or both of them, if you are even more so inclined.
You are all acting like a bunch of mid-school girls.


If you enjoy the intrigue and head games, keep it up.


Or you could find some new friends.


Or grow up.
i'm not one for giving advice, but it seems like your loyality is weak. If you really mean to be confidential you will no matter who it is that tell you things.


Better yet, you should have put your foot down and told her that if her husband did not want her to tell anybody she should not do it. That was one way of saving yourself from feeling weak about keeping secrets...and I don't believe you tell your husband everything.